tired. so very tired. not sure why, as i got the usual amount of sleep. hmm. i guess i just tend to feel tired on days when it's all gray outside and i'm inside. it makes everything seem so dark... and sleepy. well, it is dark now. damn, where did the day go? stupid college football taking up all of my time. ha.

i'm in a really odd mood today. there are a couple of things that i'd like to strive for in the new year, personal goals and all that jazz... and part of me wants to be really excited and enthusiastic about these things. part of me smiles, gets that giddy feeling... part of me yells "you go girl!" ... but then there's that other part. miss glass half empty sitting off in the corner, sulking, asking "why bother?" the part that is tired of always trying and never seeing any evidence of that. *sigh*

sometimes i think i care too much, think too much. about my feelings and emotions, about the feelings and emotions of others. it sounds horrible, but i really need to learn to say "who gives a damn" once in a while... if i don't, i think i'll just end up stressing myself to the point of no return.

is it so wrong to want to be young? i don't want to necessarily 'act my age'... let's face it, 23 year olds as a whole aren't known to be too bright. heh. but it would be nice to be able to cut loose once in a while and not worry about the consequences. but noooo, i'm just too damn responsible for that. phffft. always the designated driver, never the drunk. ha!

aaaanywho, that's enough whining for one day. i just figured i may as well get it out of my system so that i can focus my energy on having a kick ass 2004. oh yeah! i've got lots of stuff going on tomorrow, and all through the weekend... and monday too... so i've got plenty to look forward to really. good stuff. *smiles*

haaaaaappy new year to everyone out there!

my resolution? that by the end of this year i'll love myself as much as i pretended to this past year. i'm so deep, i know. *g*

any thoughts? (1)����������������