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06.26.03 : 11:24 am

for the first time in roughly three weeks, it was sunny. that was tuesday.

in some kind of evil scheme to make san diegans think that once and for all, the dark, cloudy skies (aka 'may gray' and 'june gloom') had passed, it was also sunny wednesday.

today? today the sun has once more been abducted by the clouds, and upon looking skyward, one is met with a vast expanse of... blah.

i can appreciate a gray day. oh, yes, i can. but not 20 of them back to back. and not when it's supposed to be summer. and not when i live in san diego. *pout* what the hell is going on?! damn global warming and el nino and all that crap. i hear seattle, famed rain capital of the states, has been enjoying lovely weather as of late. bastards!

i'm looking outside right now... and the sky looks as if it's a picture in a coloring book that somebody forgot to color in. it's depressing. in weather like this, you can't tell what time of day it is. sunrise bleeds into high noon, which in turn bleeds into sunset. and the only indication that the day is drawing to an end comes at 9 in the evening when the glare from above fades and darkness arrives. and the darkness? it's nothing more than a brief rebellion against the gray army. it lasts long enough to give you hope. hope that maybe just maybe, when darkness gives way the next morning, it will not be to a nondescript sky, but rather one of a peaceful blue, dotted with fluffy white clouds, and a sparkling sun. ha. i can almost hear the heavens laugh at my optimistic nature...

and wouldn't you know ... today is my day off. i worked tuesday and wednesday. i watched the world come alive in the sun, and i happily awaited my turn. but instead of lovely sunny rays peeking through my bedroom curtains, i awoke this morning to a room draped in shadows. *sob* tomorrow, i work. and i'm willing to bet that the sun escapes it's captors tomorrow. only to be rounded up again, i'm sure, come saturday and sunday when i next enjoy time off. humph.

sometimes i feel as though the universe is taunting me. poke, push, pinch, how much will it take before i lose it? how long will my sanity hold, with my color laden world clashing against a black and white sky?

i'm beginning to fear that this time next year, i'll be sitting in a small room on the third floor, surround by gray walls and white linens, and i'll be rocking myself back and forth mumbling nonsense about 'the gray devil' as i stare out onto a vibrant, sun-splashed world from my little 3x4 hole in the wall...

any thoughts? (0)����������������