my family tree was planted in tobacco and watered with whiskey.

that is to say, there have been a lot of alcoholics, drug addicts, smokers, gamblers, and the like in my family.

i'm sure addiction exists in many families, in the form of substance abuse, or even things such as shopping or sex.

i think it's safe to say though, that in my family it runs rampant.

both of my grandparents on my mom's side were smokers and for a vast majority of their lives, alcoholics. they were also big into gambling. the same can be said for all of their siblings, four of whom died due to alcoholism. my aunt is addicted to pain killers, my cousin food.

on my father's side, you have alcoholics with nasty tempers, and aunts and uncles with a penchant for illegal drugs.

which then explains my father, who at different points was addicted to a variety of things - weed, booze, cigarettes, and cocaine to name a few. i'm thankful that this was namely after i was born.

like my cousin, my mom is addicted to food. and i think gambling too, although only by association.

so, i sit back looking at my family's history, and am confronted with a long line of addictions.

i've known this all along. growing up my mom constantly warned me to be careful. ``addiction runs in the family,`` she'd say. and i'd look around and see that she was right.

and it terrified me. more than anything, i didn't want to become addicted, or reliant, on anything other than myself.

i stayed away from drugs not because of that commercial with the egg sizzling in the frying pan, but because i didn't want to become addicted. the same for alcohol. and even though the county i live in is infested with casinos, i don't go. the entire time i worked at one such casino, i gambled once: five dollars after a long night at work; i won twenty and went home.

so, after all of this precaution and carefulness, you can see why it absolutely shocked me when i recently realized how very much i was addicted to caffeine.

i'd forgotten all about the addiction-potential there.

i didn't realize the full extent of my situation until rob and i became vegetarian. in making that diet change, it only seemed fitting to cut down on sodas as well. after all, why chase apple slices or asparagus with pepsi, right? right.

so i stopped drinking pepsi. i didn't need paint thinner in my body, anyway.

and i thought everything was fine. until.

until i developed this unnatural thirst. water, juice, soy milk, no matter what i drank, nothing could satisfy me. and the unquenchable thirst soon gave way to one hell of a sweet tooth. cupcakes, candy, no dice.

and as i was standing there in the kitchen wondering what the hell had come over me, i thought, ``i sure could use a pepsi.`` and as soon as the thought had registered within me, my brain and body said, ``aaaaaaaaahh.`` the mere promise of an ice cold pepsi gave me that sudden burst of energy i'd been seeking.

it was scary. truly scary.

... and so here i sit today, `clean` for ten days and counting. in another eighteen days my body will hopefully no longer desire the caffeine and sugar rush pepsi provides it. but even after that timeframe, i can honestly say i never want another pepsi again.

and i plan to make it a point to limit my caffeine intake as a whole. during my self-imposed detox, i'm not drinking anything with caffeine at all. and i'm keeping a close eye on my sugar intake too.

and although i have caught myself being irritable and cranky off and on, and although i have the worst damn headache in the world, i feel fantastic.

because ha! damn you addiction! you thought you had me, thought you had me trapped in your glass walled prison. but no. no no no. i got wise to you, addiction. and in another few weeks i'll be the envy of all. because i'll have defeated you. escaped your grasp. i'll thrive without you in my life, and live to tell my story to all.

any thoughts? (0)����������������