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11.03.02 : 12:49 am

i'm tired of living here. tired of the rude drivers, the wannabe surfer dudes, the bitter assholes that couldn't hack it in la. i'm tired of all the fakeness.

not tired in a depressed way. after all, i've got a good five years to put in here. gotta finish school here. so... here i am.

and most of the time i'm fine here. i appreciate the beauty around me, even if it only comes in little doses. it's just that sometimes i wish i wasn't... here. in all of this.

it's corny as hell, but i see movies like sweet home alabama and i'm reminded of days gone by. of a childhood spent jumping in leaf piles and making snow angels. i miss fields of daisys that go on for miles. fields of corn you can lose yourself in. fields of green, green grass to run though. i miss tree swings and creeks and fishing and the county store. i miss the church and the malt shop and the abandoned barn. i miss the brick wall at the edge of town covered in honey-suckles. i miss water-skiing and crabbing. i miss long walks on unnamed dirt roads. i miss picking blackberries. i miss riding a bike everywhere. i miss homemade cooking, watermelon festivals, harvest festivals, and winter festivals. and most of all, i miss the lightening bugs. little fire flies lighting up the night.

hope and i were convinced they were little pieces of stars that had broken off.

and speaking of stars, i miss camping. i miss being able to look up into the night sky and see it a blaze with stars.

i miss it all.

the odd thing about it though... is that i think when i leave this place, i'll miss it too.

any thoughts? (0)����������������